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Jim Everson, known to many of you as Depot Dad, just found out that he has a severe form of skin cancer. We’re still waiting to find out just how severe… but it’s looking, well, very scary.

I haven’t even called him yet because I know I would just burst into tears. I hate cancer. As you know, I lost my own father to cancer when he was just 51. HATE IT. Damn it. Cancer is one of the cruelest things on this planet. But Jim is young, healthy and he has two beautiful children to fight tooth and nail for…

Please go wish him the best. The support you give him, from his fellow single parents, will undoubtedly mean the world to him.

Filed under: Uncategorized, single parents | No Comments »

Is your body image in check?

This one is coming from a fantastic new reader, we’ll call her Moon Beam… she’s a new single mom and is just now getting back into the dating game. In fact, she went on her first date as a single mom last night! But she’s concerned about how her new flame will react when he sees her new, post-baby body.  

Here’s the latest Single Mom S.O.S.:

I have a good body, but it’s still different than someone who’s never had kids, (if you know what I mean). Do guys know some of these differences or are they shocked?

I love hearing from new single moms because it takes me back to my first year of being a single mom. I was petrified of being with a man again. But I finally took the plunge and you know what? He didn’t care. Not one of them has… or at least they haven’t said anything, but who would? Were they all just being nice?

It is true, after having a child our bodies just aren’t the same. So… what do you think?

To the single mamas, how is your body image? Is it affecting your ability to get back out there? If you are out there are the men “shocked” when they see you?

And to the men, does it matter? If you’ve dated a single mom did you freak out at what you saw?

I want to hear from everyone on this one. Keep the comments clean please. My opinion: Men don’t care. They really don’t. But if you care, they will. (As always, I could be wrong). With that said, to the mamas - how can Moon Beam work on improving her self-image?

[Photo Credit: I wish I knew where this photo is originally from - if anyone does know, please leave a comment. I have a mild obsession with pin-up models]

Read the rest of the Single Mom S.O.S. Series Here»

Filed under: Dating Single Mom, Dating tips (for the single mama), Single Mom S.O.S., Uncategorized, single mom | 17 Comments »

I couldn’t help it.  I had to make this t-shirt.

Buy yours here. Mine is on the way.

UPDATE - My shirt just arrived. And like it says on the order form they run SUPER SMALL. So order two sizes up. I got a Medium and it just barely fits. Still LOVE it though.

I found the t-shirts they’re printed on in the clearance bin so they’re only $11.90 + $4.99 shipping & handling. It’s available in pink, black and white but because they’re on clearance I’m not sure how long they’ll last. This one will just be an addition to my growing collection of single parent t-shirts (thanks to Morgan and Clare at iHeartSingleParents.com).

I wore mine to the Barack Obama rally on Saturday.

Benjamin woke up as soon as the line started moving.

Six hours, one long line, an ice cream cone and three hot secret service men later we found ourselves just 20 or 30 feet away from Obama…

But Benjamin didn’t seem to care. So he found a place to hide and another form of entertainment…

A sweet man next to us gave Benjamin his first Obama pin.

It was hard to take pictures. We only had about one square foot of space to move… but we made it. Read more »

Filed under: Cool Stuff, Uncategorized, single mom, single parents | 9 Comments »

My first post, How to Date a Single Mom, Part 1 is a nice list of what men can expect when dating a single mom. But it lacks detail. 

And of all of the e-mails I receive, the most common are e-mails from men who have fallen for single moms and the theme question is this:

“I can’t tell if she likes me or if she’s blowing me off. If I go by your advice I should be patient and expect her to keep me at a distance but how can I tell if she’s just not that into me?”

My advice is always to ask her point blank (rip that band aid). But that is probably THE scariest bit of advice I can give them. Men don’t like talking about things - especially the “Do you like me, I like you thing.” So, fellas, here’s some more advice. If you can’t tell clearly that she’s into you, there’s a good chance she’s not but when you’re dating a single mom there’s also a chance she’s keeping you at arms length, afraid to fall. Why? Because she’s been here before, she’s seen the likes of you and even if her heart is telling her to dive right in her mind is screaming “Watch Out”. Can you blame her? So how do you tell if a single mom likes you or not?

I think the more fitting advice in your situation is this - stop worrying about whether or not she likes you and get busy - make her like you, earn her trust and her love.

How to Win a Single Mom’s Trust and Her Heart

1. Ask her how she is doing. First and foremost, on a date, at the beginning of a phone conversation… always ask her how she is doing. This may seem obvious but there are so many men I’ve dated who fail to ask me how I’m doing. (I know, atrocious, that’s why I’m not dating them anymore). The men who ask, wait for an answer, listen to the answer and then respond with encouraging words are the men who catch my attention.

2. Ask her about the kids. Don’t force this. Be genuine. But ask about her children. She may assume you want nothing to do with her little ones, but asking proves that you do want to learn more about that side of her life. Read more »

Filed under: Dating Single Mom, how to date a single mom, single moms, single mother | 12 Comments »

I have been completely overwhelmed lately.

Work. Jet lag recovery. Work. Benjamin. Sleep. Work. It’s left me little time to read my favorite blogs in the single parent blogosphere. Hopefully things will calm down soon and I’ll have more time to surf. Until then, please, please … leave me the links to your favorite posts (written or read) and include a brief description if you can.

Remember: Shameless self-promotion is STRONGLY encouraged.

Filed under: Single Parent Blogosphere | 6 Comments »

I don’t know why this feels like a confession.

I’m not ashamed. I don’t even think anything I’m about to tell you is “bad.” It’s just that I’ve been keeping it from you and that in itself is more of the confession. I try to be as honest as I can here. The price for my honesty is a small one to pay, if my fellow single mothers learn or gain from my dating experiences.

Here it is:

I have a maintenance man or a Mr. Right Now.

I can’t quit him and I’m constantly torn. Can I really be with someone who isn’t really that into me? Is this bad for Benjamin? Then I remember how hard it is out there - how hard it is to find that elusive chemistry, how hard it is to find a man who gets me. But… and it’s a big “but”…

If I’m fanning the flames of chemistry with Mr. Right Now will I miss Mr. Right?

I’ve been trying not to let these fears get to me, because every time they do – they turn out to be completely bottomless. What’s the point?

So who is Mr. Right Now? Someone you all know, or at least someone my long-time readers know. Kris. We met, nearly a year ago, on a night when I’d decided to completely write off men. I was finally content with being single and then he walked into the bar. One week later as we lay next to each other he cradled me in his arms, squeezed me tight and then whispered in my ears, “I think you’re my girl.”

I smiled to myself in the dark. It was adorable. Absolutely adorable. And it was the way he said it, this 23-year-old who had never really been in love before, now falling for - of all people - a single mother. He had no idea what was in store. And neither did I. Read more »

Filed under: Dating Single Mom, Dating tips (for the single mama), Uncategorized, single mom, single mother | 14 Comments »

I never loved nobody fully, always one foot on the ground.

And by protecting my heart so truly, I got lost in the sounds…

I hear in my mind all of these voices.

I hear in my mind all of these words.

I hear in my mind all of this music.

And it breaks my heart.

-Fidelity, Regina Spektor.

Been listening to this song since my divorce, over 2 years ago now, and this is the first time I’ve seen the video. I like the end.

And for background on my fight to let myself fall in love (as a single mom that’s easier said than done) read “Baggage Check: I Won’t Let Myself Fall in Love”. The comments alone made this post one of the best!

Filed under: Dating, sex and love, Falling in Love | 5 Comments »

Just wanted to take a moment to remind everyone that tonight the first candidate raised by a single mother will accept his nomination for President of the United States of America. 

And hopefully Joe Biden, a single father, will take the stage as well. After that I might watch take a minute to catch some Michael Phelps videos. 

So proud and hopeful. This is an historic night on many levels. 

P.S. 

If you’re still on the fence about Obama read about his Father’s Day speech calling out dead beat dads.

Filed under: single mother | 9 Comments »

I wasn’t expecting an extremely romantic vacation that would rock my world.

I was expecting a vacation filled with many long days of shopping and sight seeing followed by long nights of dancing, drinking and sorted drunken debauchery.

If romance happened, it would happen… 

We saw castles. We saw canons. We took a ferry into Sweden. And we even sipped on beers at the edge of a beautiful canal in the middle of Copenhagen but in the end the sparks did not fly. The chemistry (without Benjamin in the mix perhaps?) was gone. 

It was a bit awkward - but what could we do? Force an issue? Try to create something that wasn’t there? Instead we both spent Sunday apart. Me at the spa and him at the golf course.

I have amazing photos to share but Wordpress is being mean…

And don’t worry your pretty little heads about me - I’m quite peachy. Just trying to figure out how exactly to confess something to you all…

Filed under: Dating, sex and love, Uncategorized, denmark | 17 Comments »

Pronunciation: mommy’s \ˈmānt-nən(t)s man

Function: noun

1. A man a single mother calls for any repairs around the house or in the bedroom.

2. Crucial for single mom survival.

3. Can be boyfriend, lover, ex-boyfriend, neighbor or friend with benefits.

4. Term is only used as a joke between adults (usually the maintenance man and mommy) not with children.

I know you were expecting more on Denmark but because of jet lag I passed out early last night and can’t write much. All in good time, but first - what do you think about this Single Mom Survival Tool? A Mommy Maintenance Man? Do you have one? Do you need one?

Filed under: Single Mom Survival Tools, single mom | 14 Comments »