http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ Single Mom Forum for Single Moms en Tue, 21 May 2013 14:11:28 +0000 http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=224261#post-229389 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 01:54:48 +0000 singlemama03 229389@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I need some advice! My daughter is 18 mos. old and when I was 2 mos. pregnant her father pretty much told me he wanted nothing to do with her. SO, I am a single mom, and since the beginning of my pregnancy I have known this guy (a professional environment) and I would say by now we are like friends. During my pregnancy he was really sweet, and he always seemed to flirt with me. When I had my daughter, he seemed to fall in love with her almost like he was her dad (since he knew me my whole pregnancy). He was quick to say how much he loved her, wanted to be there for her, protect her, etc. and ever since has seemed to love her more and more. NOW, he knows her bio. father wants nothing to do with her, and he knows i'm single, and so is he. Since it is a professional environment I don't think he is allowed to seek out specific clients. We don't get too many chances to talk, but when we do, he is always mentioning how much he loves children, and how he can't wait to be a father. He even just recently asked me if I wanted 3 or 4 more children, and I found that extremely odd. He's such a lovable, trustworthy guy, and I'd love nothing more than for him to be a part of me and my daughter's life, but he won't make a move. I want to know him better, but I think maybe he is holding back waiting for me. I have seen him interact with other children, and he seems to like them just as much, but he acts so differently with my daughter and I think it's because he knows there's not a father just around the corner. So, is he just being "friendly", or is he interested? should I approach him and tell him how I feel, to let him know it's okay if he wants to be in her life, or should I wait for him to make the move? </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=2419#post-4971 Sat, 25 Aug 2012 21:57:52 +0000 Helpwithyourson 4971@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Hi, I'm Rick Romano. I help single mothers raise their sons into real men in the absence of their fathers. I am in the midst of writing "How To Raise A Real Man In The Absence Of One," to help single mothers such as yourself. This is an epidemic that I have dedicated my life to ending.</p> <p>That being said, I am offering free phone consultations/coaching sessions to single mothers of sons. All consultations will be done by phone and will take between 15-30 minutes. Space is limited to the first 10 single mothers who contact me. Serious inquiries only. Contact me at <a href="mailto:Raisearealman@gmail.com">Raisearealman@gmail.com</a> to get started. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=540#post-2755 Mon, 14 Nov 2011 05:53:04 +0000 sm29 2755@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>i have a suggestion... i am a father of a child who lives with her mother and is making things very, very difficult for me to even be any part of the child's life. my baby girl is only 15 months old, but the mother is already telling me that she's going to do exactly what you did. she's going to tell her that i don't care about her, that i'm a terrible person, etc. sad thing is, she's 29 and should be more mature than this and she's already lost her first son to her other ex for being a crazy spiteful... you know what. even with the huge amount of hate that i feel for her, i would never in my wildest dreams tell my daughter anything bad about her mom, even if they WERE true. if she ever asked me about her mom, i'd bite my tongue and simply say, "your mother loves you very much," and that would be the extent of it. </p> <p>so here's my suggestion. maybe you can help me with this situation. maybe that will make you feel better about the wrong that you've done. maybe it will even send a little bit of positive karma your way. i'm at a loss as to what to do and maybe you can tell me what the best thing to do would be? maybe you could even help me and talk some sense into the child's mother? she may just be plain crazy and i may have to wind up just proving that in court so i can take my daughter, but maybe she can be reasoned with. i don't know. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=540#post-2747 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 11:53:14 +0000 nstanh 2747@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I read this and felt physically sick. How dare you do this to your innocent child and then complain about your consequences. </p> <p>You have performed emotional abuse on your son, if he forgives you, then I would suggest you will be extremely lucky. The only advice I can give is apologise, and make him aware that you will be available if you want to talk. I can only imagine the pain and anguish this poor child has gone through, yet you seem to have your own feelings as a priority still. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=528#post-2697 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 19:32:53 +0000 Singlemom 2697@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I know the feeling. First off, if your x is around drugs you definitely do not need that around your daughter. My sons father was in and out all the time at the beginning but finally just stopped all communication and he told me that I took his son away. I was always the one to initiate communication and he never did it on his own. I know it hurts but your daughter deserves better than him. How old is he? Sometimes it's a maturity thing and other times it's just that they don't want to be parents or have responsibility. If you have to initiate contact everytime it is really not worth it. He needs to want to be a father and if he doesnt then there isnt much you can do. But i highly reccomend that if he does want to be in her life then surpervise the visits and do not let him take her because if drugs are found in his car and he happens to get pulled over you do not want social services involved or any other crazy mess. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=540#post-2644 Wed, 14 Sep 2011 12:32:53 +0000 amygwen 2644@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Thanks Roxx. It hasnt been easy but i think in time it can be sorted out. I should have done it years ago though. I might have had problems with the father, but he is still the father </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=540#post-2636 Tue, 13 Sep 2011 01:45:38 +0000 roxx2 2636@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>You can't change what is in the past or the pain you caused to them both. But you can be better than that now. Apologize profusely to them both. Put yourself at their mercy! Allow them to be mad at you, even hate you...but don't ever stop loving your son and showing him that you love him. Tell him every day that you love him and your sorry. Don't try to make him come back though....give him time to heal and forgive and come back to you when he is ready. He will one day if you don't give up. You both still have many years ahead of you to heal, even if he is an adult before it happens....it will be worth it no matter how long it takes. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=540#post-2611 Mon, 05 Sep 2011 18:00:16 +0000 amygwen 2611@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Im in uk. What am i meant to do, keep my son here even though he hates me? Force him to stay here? Just because its lawful doesnt make it right, the law backed me up with my lies for years. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=540#post-2608 Sun, 04 Sep 2011 18:25:03 +0000 AK-10 2608@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Well, If you live in the US then what you did was against the law. Saying awful things about the kids father in front of him can be considered child abuse. </p> <p>I have been a single mom for 7.5 years now. I do not like my ex husband and I do not believe that he is the best father that he could be but I allow my daughter every op to see him. She is 11 yrs old now and she needs me now more then ever and I have worked hard on our relationship. I have on occasion made a bitter remark as I am not perfect but I am hoping my daughter will see all the sacrifices and decisions that I have made with her best interest in mind.</p> <p>I don't understand why in your case how your son could have just walked out the door without a court order. He is not 18 years old yet. This does not seem right to me. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=540#post-2597 Fri, 02 Sep 2011 14:44:51 +0000 amygwen 2597@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Too many people just posting on the sex forum? </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=540#post-2595 Fri, 02 Sep 2011 00:44:07 +0000 amygwen 2595@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I had my little boy when I was 20 and am now 35.<br /> To cut a long story short i was very bad to the father. I said bad things about him that weren't true and stopped him from seeing our boy. Last year when my boy was 14 years old the father turned up unexpectedly at our sons school and told him that he was his father, showed him court documents etc to prove that he had done nothing wrong.<br /> My child came home from school and said "i knew all along, im going to live with my dad" and he left. He has NOT spoke a word to me since and that's been nearly a year although it feels like 100 years.</p> <p>Will he ever forgive me? Should he ever forgive me for essentially 'kidnapping' him from his dad all those years? I hated the father for many years because of the break up etc. I was young and stupid and now I've lost everything. Will he come back one day?</p> <p>I wanted to make the fathers life a misery...I suceeded for 14 years and now my life is a living hell. And I deserve everything I get. Will he come back, i think I'm going crazy. I just don't know what to do. I have lost my child. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=528#post-2567 Wed, 17 Aug 2011 02:14:22 +0000 MamaConfucius 2567@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I am a single mom to a four year old girl. Her dad wasn't around when she was born, and always gives me mixed feelings whether he actually wants to be in her life. When he does make an attempt to be in her life, I shut him down. I know I let what happened between us interfere with that decision. I don't trust him, and have good reason to. He smokes pot, and when one day made a surprise early-pick up, (he had our daughter), I found cocaine. He wasn't THAT person when we met. He was my first everything, and the father of my child. He hurt me. Emotionally. I don't want him to hurt her. He's careless, and thinks he can do no wrong. It's almost been a year now since he last seen her. He has not called, and when I finally checked a day a go, his phone is disconnected. There's always facebook, but he's made no attempt. Could it be due to how difficult I was being? I'm just venting, I am the only single parent in my family, and to be honest, it's destroying me. I put up a really strong front, but on the inside, I am constantly screaming. I love my daughter so much, but I feel like I have failed her. I take her on trips, (museums, beaches, etc.), and buy her anything. But when she sees her cousin running to her father, I could see it in my four year olds face, she's questioning something. As for now, she has not asked me anything, but I am sincerely dreading the day she does. I feel as if she's going to hate me. Her father did leave us, but what if I didn't give him a real chance to be a father? I don't know what to do. And my family hates him for what he did, but in all honesty they don't know the real story. I'm at a loss, but I feel a little better for venting. I spoke to 3 friends and asked them for advice. My best friend said, I shouldn't even bother with him. But my other friend, said, I should contact him. Tell him that she is starting to wonder who her father is, and to make sure he knows that he is either in or out. If someone does read this blog, I would appreciate any insight. </p>