http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ Single Mom Forum for Single Moms en Wed, 19 Jun 2013 12:19:44 +0000 http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=649901#post-655392 Sat, 08 Jun 2013 03:56:58 +0000 Auroraopie 655392@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Ok. So I've been married 8 years! Ed in the navy an has been for 8 years. We have a 7 yr old daughter. Back in jan I found out he has been cheating and telling his family he was pretending to be with me to get his finances in order before we ever et divorced. I was so heartbroken and upset that I chose to take my daughter and leave for ga ( from sc) instead of addressing it to him in person. I was scaired of his reaction. Was in ga for 3 weeks before I found out I was pregnant with his kid. He wouldn't let me come home. So I've been in ga for 6 months but now he has decided to stop paying me what he has been and he has threatend to take custody of her and the baby raise I don't have a job. ( been a house wife for 8 years) I'm 27 yrs old. So we have no paperwork and no divorce has been filed but because he has been trying to make me look bad for his benifit and I am terrified he will take her one weekend and choose not to give her back. So until I have anything in writing with visitation agreements I am refusing to let him see her. Am I wrong for doing this? I have heard of fathers taking there kids and then the mom has to jump through hoops for moths to get the back I am terrified. She is my whole life. Losing her would absolute kill me!! Not to mention I'm 5 months pregnant while trying to deal with this. Any advice from anyone would be extremely helpful. And for the record this is the first time in 6 months that I have denied him seeing her but I did tell him he can come visit her when he wants to he is just not leaving with her or having her for any amount of days. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=600544#post-606033 Wed, 29 May 2013 07:29:08 +0000 Thatcitynoise 606033@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I'm looking for advice from single moms out there. Recently, I found a beautiful, smart, sexy, funny, hard working woman. I've met her mom, brothers, extended family, friends, and even her 7 year old son. I like her a lot, as well as everyone else I've met through her...except for one person...baby daddy. </p> <p>Here are the details : I'm 26, she's 27 with a 7 year old boy. I was a male who slept around a decent amount, but stopped upon meeting her. I have no problem that she is a mom, and I even like her son. She has full custody over her son, but still allows his father to see him. She told me she does this because she doesn't want her son to grow up resenting her for not allowing it. To describe him can be done in one word - LOSER. No job, car, license, or residence (he now lives with his brother, who happens to live across the street from my new girl). To top everything off, he only wants to take the kid when it's convenient for him (the epitome of bum dad). </p> <p>As I mentioned earlier, I did sleep around a lot, and due to that fact, I get tested for STDs yearly. I'm completely clean, and so is she. I forget the type of birth control she's on, but it involves a doctor placing a device up into her vagina, and it stays there for a few years. Due to this, we have not been using any other protection. This bring me to...</p> <p>The sticky details : Yesterday (Memorial Day 2013) she invited me over for a family BBQ. It was great until later in the day when we returned to her place. The father of her child was waiting in the yard for us to return. He caused a scene with the kid demanding to take him to the park (by this time it was getting dark, and I doubt he really wanted to take him). A little later that evening (11:30pm) he was banging on the door asking again to see his son. She made me stay inside while she went out to talk to him. Obviously, I listened in on the conversation, which she handled very well. At the very end of it, he threatened her and me. She ended up having to call the cops on him that night to leave us alone. Now, I'm not scared of this guy by any means, that's neither here nor there, but the story does turn here a bit. </p> <p>After the scene plays out, we talk a bit about their past together (which we had never really done). She told me he was violent, and abusive on a few occasions, verbally as well as physically. She told me she's considered restraining orders before, but would never really do it. We talked about her son, why she decided to go through with the pregnancy,so and and so forth. She mentioned as well that if we got pregnant, that she would keep that child too. </p> <p>Here's where I need help. </p> <p>Up until yesterday, things were fantastic with this girl. When I woke up, a rush of doubts and questions came to mind. </p> <p>1) If he is/was abusive, why the hold off on a restraining order?</p> <p>2) We barely know each other (about 2 months) and she's already to have my child. </p> <p>3) I really do like this girl, a lot, but I am by no means trying to have a child with her</p> <p>4) What do I do about the dad? Eventually, he's going to probably start a physical altercation, which if it happens, it happens, but I still don't want to deal with him, especially if he's living across the street.</p> <p>5) I know it's out of line on my part, but exactly how out of line if I tell her to completely get the father out of her life? ( Remember, she already has full custody, the child bears her last name, and because he's a LOSER with no job, he hasn't been paying child support that he's supposed to be paying)</p> <p>6) It bears repeating, do I freak out that she's willing to keep my baby if we get pregnant? I'm not for abortion, but I'm not ready to father a child with someone, never-mind be that persons 2nd baby daddy (a term which I never want to bear for anyone). </p> <p>7) Is she a bad judge of character? She got knocked up by somebody that she was supposedly "in love with.” That same guy that’s an asshole now, is the same guy she thought the world of and had unprotected sex with. Am I gonna be that asshole one day if I keep having unprotected sex with her too?</p> <p>8) Where is the cut off point? How much BS is too much?</p> <p>Like I said, I was sort of a playboy. I have a good car, successful business, and I'm an active community member. This is the first girl in a long time that I actually really do care about, and want to be steady with...but at what cost? </p> <p>I apologize in advice if I sound selfish, but I'm still a childless bachelor, and am not used to a situation like this. Please help! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=113506#post-117456 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 01:40:17 +0000 youknowhoyouare 117456@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Hello my name is carina fleming and I am a single mother of a five-month-old boy named Myles. I have been raising myles alone and barely making ends meet some months.<br /> I own my own photography business and I started a children's accessory business on my own in order to make some money...<br /> I live in a small town so this kind of idea is something new to this area. I had a friend approach me and ask if she could help make some of the accessories I agreed that this would be fine as long as our profits were split 50/50. She agreed and we began creating little headbands, bowties, barrettes and tutus.<br /> Once we started to get some attention she started to get really bossy and demanded that she be paid for every headband that she makes. I told her that I just wanted to do this to have fun and make some money on the side to support me and my son. I did not want this to be a competition nor did I want to fight with her. I told her that if it was not going to be 50/50 that I didn't want to do it anymore because that was our original agreement.<br /> I continued to make accessories on my own. She began selling her accessories online... Then she went to a competing photographer in town and asked the lady to display her accessories in her photos.<br /> This shocked me. I had confided in this woman about how the competing photographer had had props and backdrops and things I could not afford... and how I wanted to create accessories in order to have my own 'edge'.<br /> Here I was confiding in someone who I thought was my friend and then she turned around and stole my idea from me and went to my competitor.<br /> This woman lives in a giant house and does not work because her husband is able to pay for everything with his high paying job at Bruce Power.<br /> I am really disappointed and most of all hurt. I wanted to create something beautiful and original, But mostly I just wanted to be able to support my son myself.<br /> I am not asking for your pity I just want people to know that I am out there... and I need support. Even if you could just like my page, I just want my story to be heard.<br /> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/bitesizeaccessories" rel="nofollow">www.facebook.com/bitesizeaccessories</a><br /> Thank you.<br /> Carina </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=79808#post-83743 Mon, 11 Mar 2013 21:50:53 +0000 singlemom411 83743@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Great new network to bring single moms together and help us help each other <a href="http://www.singlemom411.com" rel="nofollow">www.singlemom411.com</a> you can get together with your friends and make new ones. Get the help and advice you need now </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=70173#post-74100 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 06:32:45 +0000 Jenaby 74100@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Hi my name is jeni and I am a single mother of 3-4 year old .i have been currently offered a job in another state and i am in a very unhealthy relationship their father . I know i need to take this opportunity to make a better life for my kids but I'm emotionally stressed about how my kids are going to processes all of this. We will be staying with some very close friends of mine for a few months so the kids will not have their own rooms or any normal routine for awhile . Any advice from anyone would be greatly appreciated .encourageing words are welcome as well . Thank you </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=68934#post-72854 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 16:24:52 +0000 ndkeane 72854@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Hello mommy's out there! I'm pleased to tell you that there is finally help for your little ones with head lice. The Lice Treatment Center is now in the Minneapolis area and is only a phone call away. They offer in-home treatment and can be there within an hour of your call for help. The best part is that they bring their all natural, organic products that are safe! Check them out at <a href="http://www.licetreatmentcenter.net" rel="nofollow">www.licetreatmentcenter.net</a> or call 888-LICE-AWAY!</p> <p>-Nicole </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=27023#post-30696 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 02:44:11 +0000 nohopenocourage 30696@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Well first of all, I was trying to creatively use a song lyric ('There would be no courage/Were it not for hope') and then I accidentally entered the damned thing and now my username looks awful!</p> <p>Anyway. I am new and have had a traumatic life. I am going through serious problems and don't have many people to talk to. I'm six weeks pregnant with my first child and just left the father (we were in a different state). I just need to chat. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=13495#post-16865 Tue, 25 Dec 2012 05:19:19 +0000 juliaxoxox 16865@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Hey. well I've been with my recent ex bf for about 3 yrs now. About two yrs into the relationship he hit me but not to the point I was dying of even bruised it was just a really bad physical fight. I ended up phoneing the police and they charged him. We have conditions not to see or talk to each other but did anyways. after about a week we started chilling and talking again not legally.anyway things went really good and we were really happy. so happy I guess we decided to have a baby. I am 32 weeks pregnant and November this year was his trail and I got a sobpenea to go. I did not go and had a warrant for my arrest. I stayed with friends and people he knew for about a month. my cousin passed away and I had to go home for the funeral. I did and it was pretty safe. So I decided to stay home and he didn't have a problem. about a week ago cops came to my house and freaked out my family. after they left my mom said she is calling the police and turning me in. I got on my phone and told him all this. he was really mad, so mad he left me. anyway I got my mom to calm down but later that night they came back and I was hiding in the kitchen. they basically caught me red handed. I guess a 8 month pregnant girl isn't to hard to spot. I was released later that night on conditions and promise to appear. I told him about it and he stopped talking to me. he says I ruined his life and he can never forgive me. its been two weeks and he is still stuck on the whole I never wanna be with u. I am so hurt and scared. I am only 20 and need to find a place to live before baby is born. I feel like I'm loosing everything. he hates me so much and I don't know how he could do this after knowing this could have happened. he says I should have stayed at his friends and everything would have been fine. now he has a new job and he is all like u ruined everything. I hate myself and I hate him for making me feel as if this is all my fault. HELP!! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=9740#post-12926 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 21:00:22 +0000 Xoxo--j 12926@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Hello everyone I am a 23 year old single mother to a beautiful little 3 year old girl. We've had some big changes in the last few years that have brought us to this point. I have been single since I split up with her dad in May 2006. My daughters dad is a very abusive man, mostly verbally and sometimes physically. When it became physical, I decided I could not live that life, not for me and especially not for my daughter. It took every ounce of my strength at the time to walk away from our relationship. H had me so brainwashed that I was worthless and could never make it on my own. I have never had a lot of self confidence and years of his constant put downs wore on me. After we split he told me that he had cheated on me when we first started dating. That was hard to hear because I trusted him. Then he stole money off of my credit card, left me with all of our debt (since the bills were in my name because he had no credit), and kept all of our furniture we had together. Looking back on that time in my life now I feel sad, angry, and ashamed that I let myself be treated that way for so long. However, I keep in the forefront of my mind that I left him and I refuse to be treated that way or to let my daughter be treated that way and watch her mother be treated that way. It was not easy to step out on my own and I didn't know all of the freedom I would be giving up by choosing to parent on my own. Don't get me wrong, my daughter is the greatest blessing I have ever had in my whole life, but being a single mom ,as you all know, I not an easy task. </p> <p>In the year following our break up I made A LOT of changes in my life. Firstly I moved into my parents basement suite for a while, where I ran my dayhome. I must say that my family is anchor and my salvation. i would mo be half the person i am today without their continual and amazing support. </p> <p>Then in the summer of 2011, I had to get my gall bladder removed because I had really bad gall stones, (when I found out about the gall stones I was blamed by my ex for ruining his night when I had a gall bladder attack on one of our last date nights before the break up). Anyways, I had to go in for surgery to have my gall bladder removed. It was supposed to be a routine day surgery but after a few days home post-op I had to go back into the hospital because I could barely move I was in so much pain. It turns out that the doctor had clipped my bile duct and bile was leaking into my abdomen. So I had to go back in for emergency surgery and ended up having to be airlifted to a better hospital. It was all really terrifying and it really opened my eyes up to how short life is. I went home and did some soul searching and decided that the best thing for me and my daughter's future would be for me to go back to school. My hometown has only s college so I began my studies there. School has always come really quite easily to me so I am lucky about that. It still was hard to juggle being a newly single mom and now a full time student, but with determination and support from my family, I managed to make it on the honor roll. My ex was still in and out of my life, seeing our daughter a couple of days a month and continuing to try and manipulate me with his psycho babble. As I became stronger and more educated it was easier to see through the bullshit. He no longer had control over me and I was smarter then him, </p> <p>After the new year if 2012, I knew which path I wanted to take to continue my education. I am currently a Psychology major and a Sociology minor. Since there was no university in my hometown I started thinking about where I should transfer to. My sister and our best friend were also looking to transfer to university in the fall of 2012. All three of us were born and raised in a small southern Alberta city and were all experiencing this together for the first time. We decided to move to Vancouver Island, which was quite the stretch from a little Alberta town to an island. The next step was to convince my ex to agree to the move and have our parenting order and child support agreement revised. He of course, did not want me to move, but he worked on the rigs and hardly made our daughter a priority anyways. So I consulted a lawyer and he told me to just move and then apply to the courts and notify my ex once we were moved. Because of my ex's history of violence, I was apprehensive to do this but I initially agreed </p> <p>In March of 2012, almost a year after the assault that ended up being the final straw in our relationship, my ex came over to my house with a swollen hand, crying the blues about how he was attacked by a "psycho bitch." I listened to him and encouraged him to get help, but this was not the first or even second time I had heard of him beating a woman. I had stood by him when I was pregnant and he was going through an assault trial with his girlfriend prior to me. He is so narcissistic and has a way of wrapping up any story and making it someone else's fault. At that point in our relationship I was frankly to naive and stupid I guess to believe that he might be lying to me. I wanted to believe every word that came out of his mouth. I guess it was the way I was raised to believe that every person was inherently good. This, I have learned, is not always the case. So, here he was standing in front of me, hand swollen again, claiming to be the victim of another "psycho" woman. I had enough and so did my family. In the next days to come I went down to the police station and told the police what he had told me about his past weekend. I told them I was concerned for my daughter because this was the third woman, including myself, that I knew that he had assaulted. They told me that I couldn't do anything about the most recent situation because I was not involved. I told them he assaulted me a year ago and I never charged him at the time because I was still with him and he was my daughters dad, etc. They told me that the statue of limitations on that type of offence is longer because it usually takes the victim more time to come forward and report it. They told me I could still charge him. I thought about it for about 15 minutes and decided I had to charge him, because he shouldn't be able to keep getting away with this. A no contact order was out into place between us and his conditions were that he could not drink. Ironically, he was arrested on April Fools Day lol. When he appeared in court on the Monday, I had a family friend and police sergeant serve him the custody papers stating that we were moving away for school. </p> <p>The next few months were great, he couldn't talk to me and he could only contact my family in order to make arrangements for visitation with our daughter. I struggle with the relationship between my daughter and her father because of his anger issues and violent past. However, every incident occurred without the kids present and when he had been out for the night drinking. His anger is not towards our daughter, but towards women and it comes out when they do not obey him essentially. The reason he smacked me around that night was because I wouldn't have sex with him one night, </p> <p>Anyways, we went to court and I basically was granted everything I asked, without a lawyer, including permission to move to the island. He was not happy about this but hardly saw our daughter when we lived in the same city so I knew it would not be much different if we were a province over. I have started to try and move on from my past relationship but he was my first and only real boyfriend I have ever had. I have an amazing father and am sooooo lucky for that because it proves to me that there are good men in the world and I just unfortunately came across a bad one. I've always kind of lack self confidence and feel sort of socially retarded sometimes lol. Now I attend university full time and live with my sister and our friend, both of whom are young and single. I can't live the typically university girl life like they can going out to the bars and stuff. I really really miss sex a lot and it bothers me that they can have sex while I am cooped up at home every night. My problem is that I don't now how to meet men. I go to school and there are plenty of men there, but I've never been good at just striking up a conversation with a stranger. I've always had lots of friends that were girls and have no problem talking to girls and making friends with them. I don't know if its a fear of rejection or some damage from my past, but I just feel invisible someways. I always kind of have though. Does anyone have any suggestions about what to say in the moment that you just walk up to a stranger? I just don't know how to do it so I don't and I think that might be my problem when it comes t meeting men. I always thought it was the man that approached the woman but maybe I'm wrong or maybe I'm just unapproachable. Ugh I don't know but I know I'm just lonely and it's hard to watch other people my age living a totally different lifestyle and feeling left out. If anyone has any advice I'm open to it'. And if you took the time to read this whole thing I appreciate it. Have a great day </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=538#post-8759 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 19:34:20 +0000 hope13 8759@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I was in the same boat a yr ago. Was madly and totally in love quickly... in 6 months we were making plans to move in. I have 2 kids. One called him 'Dad' within 9 months. He was on board with being a 'dad' after it settled in. however, over time - i realized that our differences in parenting were too severe. He believed very strongly in 'spanking' and i didn't. Not to mention my belief that a non biological parent hitting/spanking a child opens up a can or worms and drama that i dont want in my life.<br /> I love this man tremendously... i wanted a family with him in the worst WORST way. He did too. We both wanted it .... but over time differences and views on other things can be too severe.<br /> It is so hard to stay away, to not run back and beg to get back together. I have to believe that one day... i'll find the step-dad, partner and the commitment that i've always wanted.<br /> The advice i got and ignored... (wish i followed it)... SLOW IT DOWN. Separate a bit. Its a VERY good thing to not put pressure on you or him, or you daughter. Keep a few nights a week to just you and her. Build a rock solid foundation with your daughter. Yes, have him around, but try to for a few months, keep it a few nights a week. Don't talk to much about moving in together, marriage, more kids....etc. I don't know exactly how to this ...it is MUCH easier said than done.<br /> Since you posted this a yr ago.... please give an update! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=2296#post-4836 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 21:34:45 +0000 barrypaulprice 4836@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Hi Ladies, I'm a professional dating mentor for six-figure women but I like to give back to single moms because I was raised by a single, working Mom.</p> <p>I'm going to be around the forum a bit to see if I can be of any help to you.</p> <p>Have a great day! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=2246#post-4783 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 00:14:32 +0000 makeachange 4783@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>For so long have society turned a blind eye to single parenting. Well now's the chance for us to direct our anger and frustration at the right people. "The Government" forgot the Deadbeat's for a second, they are legally in their right to demolish and destruct the life of a human being. Men all over the world from different nations, races, class, abilities and overall human man kind are abanding their responsibilities on a daily basis... It's practically the norm in the court room, the same story just a different case.... Lets take a stand and make the rights for our children be heard. <a href="http://www.scumdads.ning.com" rel="nofollow">www.scumdads.ning.com</a> join now for more info and spread the word. It's about time our voices were heard. I'm tired of saying the same thing. Aint you? </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=1936#post-4371 Wed, 23 May 2012 14:10:28 +0000 jk2mom 4371@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>As a single mother myself, I know that things can get tight financially. I came across this site that guarantees you $80 same day just for completing offers. It's no money out of pocket and the money is guaranteed. There is nothing to lose to try.<br /> Visit:<br /> <a href="http://www.yourfinancialmiracle.net" rel="nofollow">www.yourfinancialmiracle.net</a> </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=606#post-3876 Mon, 19 Mar 2012 13:42:14 +0000 aprilh0909 3876@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I was in the same boat, and overseas at the time. It was a very depressing, lonely experience. Partially because I chose to make it that way. It'll be hard but anyone who does this solo, the pregnancy and parenting, is a SUPERHERO! Just take it a day at a time and find someone you can lean on. Whether it's your sister, your mom, a dear friend. Someone you can share the special moments with. That was the one thing I actually YEARNED for. I found that in my sister. She was the best person for the job, way better than my daughter's father ever could have been. I feel like I got the better end of the deal in that regard. Just be true to yourself. And fight for child support. Visitation and child support are apples and oranges. You are legally entitled to his contribution, don't stray from your rights (and the rights of your baby!). Diapers and daycare alone are incredibly expensive. There are calculators online that can plug in what you're entitled to. And if you don't have money, no worries. Child support enforcement is a great advocator and will have an attorney present when you go before a judge. My mistake was I believed my baby-daddy that he would pay when he BEGGED me not to go to DCSE. Then he stopped paying. He is 6 months in arrears when the State of VA could have taken care of this immediately. My life lesson, I guess.</p> <p>Regardless, please take care of yourself. Mentally, physically, emotionally... Your baby needs you, all of you! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=590#post-2789 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:52:10 +0000 hide1975 2789@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>You should talk to him...and explain only the main details of the situation then let him decide how he would like to handle the situation.<br /> He could be missing out on a beautiful relationship with your daughter. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=606#post-2782 Sun, 27 Nov 2011 02:37:45 +0000 dlries 2782@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Hang in there, this is going to be OK. It's not going to be easy, but it's going to be OK. Pregnancy and the life you have in your womb is a wonderful thing and a blessing regardless of the circumstances. That little baby kicking away in you and fighting to grow even though you can't feel it. You have to fight now to and gear up for what's ahead. </p> <p>Do you have a support system? Your life will be easier with people there to help you along. Is this your first baby? </p> <p>I would suggest you seek out a legal consultation - don't go with the cheapest family lawyer, but find someone good for a free consultation. Find out, based on your state, when the right time is to seek child support. You are going to want to be sure you do so you aren't left hanging completely Money doesn't make things like this better, but it will make it easier. </p> <p>Start keeping a log of everything - anything you can remember from conversations or emails you have, you'll want to make sure you save in case you need them later and he denies paternity. </p> <p>In cases like this, many men will often come back with the "it's just a lump of tissue and you should abort it" position. I'm here to tell you it isn't - she's your child and she needs you. Even if you don't think you can do this on your own, there are other ways so don't let anyone pressure you into the biggest mistake of your life. We'll do anything we can to help you.</p> <p>Message me if you need help. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=606#post-2770 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 08:12:49 +0000 apeainmypod 2770@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Hi, I'm new to the single mom thing. I'm only 9 weeks pregnant(pushing 10) and the guy that got me pregnant has decided to be out of the picture about 4 days ago. I don't really know what happened... He was in for it up until the other day and now will not return a phone call, text, email and has even gone to the social slap in the face and "defriended" me on Facebook. I know that part may sound silly but I'm sure we can all agree that social networks can create drama. I'm very confused and scared. We found out very early that I was pregnant and had been making decisions together up until this. Now I'm left completely alone. Does anyone have any advice as to what to do?... Also I didn't mention that he is a local celebrity golfer and has an influential family which I feel is going to make things harder for me. How can I proceed from here? This is my cry for help!!! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=601#post-2760 Wed, 16 Nov 2011 03:23:12 +0000 KatieG31 2760@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>So, I am 25 and a single mom to my 3 year old son. In going out to dinner and drinks with some girls from work who are all around my age, I felt really, really left out. Even one of the girls said I was being too quiet, and she was right. I didn't have much to add to the conversations about boyfriends, going out on Saturday night, and going on long runs... On my way home I was pondering this and my life is boring in terms of 25 years old. I work and go home, I don't go out, I don't workout, and I don't have a boyfriend. Am I wrong for being jealous or longing for just a little bit of what's the norm for someone my age? Does that make me seem like a bad parent or that I love my son less? Don't get me wrong, I love my son and he is the best thing in my life! I guess I just need some assurance that it's okay to feel this way or if I need a swift kick in the pants! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=590#post-2705 Mon, 10 Oct 2011 05:06:19 +0000 Willow425 2705@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>When I was 23 I had just got out of a very controlling and abusive relationship. Once out, I went a little crazy and slept with many men... Looking for love in all the wrong places. Anyhow, I got pregnant. To this day I am not 100% sure who my daughter's father is, but I have a pretty good idea. When my daughter was 10 we had a DNA test on the man I thought was the father. He was not (we were never in a relationship). I was already feeling like the worst mother in the world and this made it so much worse!! I have done a lot of thinking and I now believe I know who this person is. It was a one night stand and I havent seen this person in 18 years and dint even know his last name, however, I ran into his brother today. He gave me his card. This my first link to this man.</p> <p>My daughter knows that I am not sure who her father in. The feelings this gives me is indescribable. I didn't want to lie to her because she would have eventually found out anyway. I know she wants to know who this person is for obvious reasons. She has said several times she's missing out on that side of her. She's been a difficult child, rebellious, selfish and aggressive. I've done the best I can as a single mom. In all I have 4 children and she is the only one who doesnt have a relationship with her father.</p> <p>My question is do I try to find this man? I know he's married with two girls. I don't want to disrupt his life by asking for a DNA test. However, I feel I owe it to her, but I'm very conflicted!! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=519#post-2603 Sun, 04 Sep 2011 17:55:00 +0000 AK-10 2603@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>When someone pulls a complete disappearing act usually means they have started seeing someone else whom they have more of an interest in. If she still has not contacted you since this post well, they are still involved. My feeling is it's with the guy she was texting all night and the reason they didn't further the relationship was because he was not ready. Once he was ready, you got booted out of the picture. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=538#post-2592 Thu, 01 Sep 2011 18:30:13 +0000 AvasMommy17 2592@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months now. I have a daughter who is 20 months. (just a quick background--her biological father is not in the picture, at all. I made some decisions and moves to make it that way before she was even born. we are all better off, trust me.)</p> <p>When you know, you know. That is what I believe. And I knew on our first date that he was going to be "the one". We both are very open with each other and communicate very well, about everything. We are both very much in love with each other and know that every day is a new building block to our relationship. </p> <p>A few days ago, he expressed to me that he is feeling very overwhelmed with the concept of him being in a relationship that involves a child. Especially because of how quickly my daughter has bonded with him. ( She talks about him all the time, even when he hasnt seen her for a while. She asks about him and apparently talks about him at her daycare. And to really top it off, she on her own has woken up in the morning saying his name and then "daddy?") I told him that she has been doing this and bringing him up more and more. Obviously it eventually set in for him and he naturally felt uncomfortable. </p> <p>Now here is where I am at...I completely understand where he is coming from. This has all developed very quickly. Not that it has been forced to this point, cause it hasn't. We both allowed it to progress to what felt right and natural. Our best way to describe our relationship from day one has been "effortless". In reference to our feelings for each other and the ease of it all. Not to say that our relationship doesnt take work, every relationship takes work. I am head over heels for this guy and he claims to feel the same way about me. The last thing I want to hear is that he is having a hard time accepting my daughter. Although, he says he is crazy about her as well and cares for her a lot. He said that is was when he heard she was making the "daddy connection" that it freaked him out. </p> <p>I am sorry if this post is all over the place, but this just happened a few days ago. I am still trying so hard to get my head right and approach this the right way so that we can move forward in a positive way and continue to grow together. I am a mental and emotional mess and I just feel very helpless. Im not sure what is the right way to act on all of my emotions. I just need some advice...that is why I am here. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=334#post-2568 Wed, 17 Aug 2011 18:52:09 +0000 sayeed 2568@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>dear jade, there are lots of things happen in life like this and as the fact that u can't change ur fate, u got nothing to do but accept it... i m not feeling sorry for u but feeling proud that u got the confidence in u to start again and again with the gifts that god has given u, ur lovely children... i don't know whether i cud do anything for u but at least i can be a good friend...<br /> <a href="mailto:sayeedmc@yahoo.com">sayeedmc@yahoo.com</a> is my e-mail id...<br /> if u get time mail me, i would be more than happy to reply urs and have and a chat and may be laugh ... take care and keep strong... </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=519#post-2541 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 01:17:40 +0000 redvolvodavid 2541@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I've always been the "nice guy." Well, I saw a friend from high school 4 months ago, who is now a single mama. We went out to eat and drinks with a mutual friend from high school. I spent the night with her. We've seen each other probably 6 times, or so, in the past several months and last weekend, I drove down and we went out on Saturday evening with the same mutual friend. While out, she was texting a LOT. I glanced over and saw a mutual friends name on her phone, a guy. He is a single dad with two girls. Sure, they have common ground, but she even mentioned talking to him the next morning and that they've been chatting a lot. So that took away my worry since I doubted she would mention him otherwise. </p> <p>On Sunday, we had gone to brunch with our friend and her boyfriend. I dropped her off at home, walked her up, said our goodbyes, hugged for a minute then kissed a couple of times. Then I got a text telling me thanks again for the weekend. </p> <p>Monday, we facebook chat for a while. Nothing Tuesday. Wednesday morning I send a text telling her "Good morning beautiful. I hope your Tuesday was great and that today is even better." I hear nothing back. It's not Thursday and still nothing. I wouldn't usually make such a big deal out of this, but in 4 months that we have been "casually dating," we have gone no longer than 1 day without mutual contact.</p> <p>Other info to consider: She told me from the beginning that she wasn't really looking for anything and didn't want anything serious right now. Thus the "causal dating" term she threw in there. I've not met her 2.5 year old daughter. I gave her an out twice, but she said both times that she wanted to keep going as we were. Her divorce is not finalized (signed), but she's been apart from him for about 15 months. He cheated on her. We've been going pretty slow. We're a little over 3 hours apart, so we've both made an effort to see each other. Sometimes at her place, sometimes in our home town (which is in the middle for both of us). </p> <p>I've been a different person the last two days. I've been extremely depressed about this. I know that relationships have to be two sided, so if she doesn't see anything, that's fine. It just seems odd that she would drop off so suddenly without any sort of explanation. </p> <p>Should I send a message to her asking if she needs some space? She's totally worth the wait in my opinion and she's an awesome mother. I just may be a fool to wait at this point. I'm willing to be patient. Your help is very appreciated. Ask anything else you need to know. I'll be very open. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=334#post-2505 Mon, 18 Jul 2011 01:10:10 +0000 DealsforKids 2505@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>We are a flourishing website designed and dedicated to cost conscious Parents<br /> everywhere. We know you are actively concerned about your family’s costs, bills,<br /> and expenses. At Deals for Kids, we have you totally covered. With our ‘volume<br /> buying savings’ model; you get to get in on some incredible daily/weekly savings.<br /> Imagine being able to save from 50-90% off of your family’s everyday items; not to<br /> mention...gifts, spas, outings, sports events, and even family fashions. You name<br /> it, and we have it...for HUGE savings! </p> <p>Check us out today <a href="http://DealsforKids.ca" rel="nofollow">http://DealsforKids.ca</a> </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=488#post-2424 Wed, 29 Jun 2011 11:35:34 +0000 mom_indebt 2424@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>sorry if they weren't very encouraging. I just think you need to have a feel of reality. The world is harsh really and to us single moms it can be really worse and for the kids as well. I just hope you would be able to stand up and prove the people around you wrong. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=488#post-2422 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 21:42:29 +0000 LittleMama09 2422@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>were those supposed to be encouraging words? </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=488#post-2420 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 09:37:57 +0000 mom_indebt 2420@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I think your ordeal is really a tough one. I am also not pro abortion and honestly girl I wanted to shake you out of your senses. You already have two kids and why did you allow such a thing to happen again?</p> <p>These things are really messy and they take a lot of work. You know what you are getting into and please take care of yourself. I know you are responsible for your actions but just take extra caution on those things especially if you don't have an idea if the person you are with is really going to be with you all through out or will help and support you.</p> <p>For me once is enough. I have a little boy and I don't want to commit the same mistake again. I hope you do try to take extra steps into making sure that it won't happen again. You need all the help you can get and you need to be able to stand up again. 3 kids will be really hard, I hope you can do it.</p> <p>Good luck. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=488#post-2416 Mon, 27 Jun 2011 17:36:43 +0000 LittleMama09 2416@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Hi, Im a 20 year old mother of two. One age 2 and one age 11 months...I am a newly single mother. After two heartbreaking,absolutely awful relationships I realized I was better off alone and so are these kids.Lately I have felt so motivated like I can do anything, Then this week I found out I am pregnant with my third child. How did this happen? well i know how..but why now? I could never come to terms with an abortion although it crossed my mind.So I feel my only choice is to have this bundle of joy and love it the best I can. BUT how do single moms do this? I can handle my two but THREE????? Someone please give me some words of encouragement!!! I need it so bad!! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=464#post-2358 Wed, 11 May 2011 16:16:40 +0000 katya551 2358@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Few things unclear from your story - have you filed for divorce yet? Are the kids in your temporary custody, or their father's? If the divorce was filed, you can file a petition with the court for a restraining order against any "significant other". Don't know what state you are in, but in my experience, in Ohio, this is granted pretty easily, as the court's view is that presence of a third party only confuses the kids. Doesn't even matter what this live-in girlfriend's record is. But I think this may only hold true if you have primary physical custody of the kids, and dad only has visitation. Hope this helps! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=464#post-2351 Tue, 03 May 2011 01:32:32 +0000 TinkerMom 2351@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I am a mother of three and am in fear for the health and well beinging of my children. My Ex-Husband has a really good lawyer. She has some how made it look like im the bad guy in all of this. Here is my story. Three years ago we started the divorce parpers and he was fine with me having the Girls. Just before the papers were to be put threw he threatened my life and my lawyers. Then he asked me to try and work things out trying to do the right thing for our children and we were living with my mother. And it seemed like someone was calling Child protive services on me everyother day. (Not that they found anything) Then right after my lawyer desided to file my case in the storage bin he kicked me out and filed the papers again. And then had his live in girlfriend try to play Mommy to my kids. Now what you need to know about the live in girlfriend is this. She has four children of her own gave up two and lost the older two to the state for abuse and neglect. The father of my children works 90 or more houres a week. And is never home. He leaves them in the care of this "Mom" every day. I have asked the state to step in and remove the Girls from his care but they will not help me. They keep telling me I have to wait until this women does something to one of my children before they can step in. What do I do NOW??? I was a stay at home mother. I didnt work and now I cant afford to pay a lawyer to help me fight for my kids. Im scared for thier lives. Can any one Help me????? </p>