http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ Single Mom Forum for Single Moms en Wed, 22 May 2013 10:04:00 +0000 http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=162#post-1706 Mon, 21 Dec 2009 05:00:26 +0000 mom23inmd 1706@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Yes, I have gotten past it. One evening the kids walked in on us holding hands, and I just didn't move my hand away from him. It was no big deal. My 4-year-old announced to her brother (8) and sister (5) in the car one day that "Mommy has a boyfriend". It was the perfect opening to talk to all 3 of them about how they feel about me having a boyfriend, and what exactly does it mean to have a boyfriend.</p> <p>They adore him, and he has done a ton to advance his relationship with them, so overall, it has worked out wonderfully. Thanks for asking! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=162#post-1702 Fri, 18 Dec 2009 02:15:25 +0000 mssinglemama 1702@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Mom23inMd - any news? Any thing to report back? I hope you've conquered your fear or found a solution, sorry we couldn't be more helpful! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=162#post-1700 Mon, 14 Dec 2009 08:38:45 +0000 girlwomangoddess 1700@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I live in my parents guest house so I am really looking forward to moving into my own place so I can have these living room dates. A couple things I plan on is dd has always and will always (if I have my way) sleep with the door closed. Also I like have a small couch in my bedroom so I can entertain in my room without having to be in my bed..... </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=162#post-1570 Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:04:46 +0000 mariposamommy 1570@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>My children are very little, (3 1/2 and 1 1/2) and I have a permanent gate at the top of the stairs, where all the bedrooms are. It comes in handy! Living room dates are all "J" and I have right now! That gate ensures we are ALONE! Ha! :) </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=162#post-1403 Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:35:27 +0000 mssinglemama 1403@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Any way to put bells on their doors? </p> <p>Hypothetical... because I have a young son and I don't know yet. If they did come down and see you kissing... would that traumatize them forever? Would that really be so bad? </p> <p>What about crunchy things on the stairs outside of their doors? </p> <p>Ha.</p> <p>I think we all need to relax about everything... we are adults, they are children. As long as they don't see mommy kissing a new man every week, I don't think they will be permanently damaged or anything. </p> <p>That's my food for thought. </p> <p>Another idea - why not try kissing each other in front of the kids? Would that maybe break everyone in a bit... again, I think it's healthy for kids to see two affectionate adults. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=162#post-1400 Sun, 13 Sep 2009 21:51:01 +0000 momma2boys 1400@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I totally understand where you are coming from. I just started dating after being divorced for 3 years - yes I'm a slow starter!<br /> But now my concern is when do you start to show affection with this person who you do have feelings for in front of your children?<br /> The only advice I can give you is to talk to him. Ask him what he feels comfortable with, and maybe work together with some ideas of a timeline that makes you happy.<br /> Don't rush it, if he is a good guy he will be sensitive to the issue and help you with your concerns. Good luck! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=162#post-1355 Sun, 06 Sep 2009 04:00:14 +0000 mom23inmd 1355@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I should clarify ... my boyfriend is GREAT about it. He has kids too (they are teenagers though), and he understands and completely respects my kids' needs. My issue is more so with my kids ... or maybe it's with me. How do I get past that awkward feeling? They have met and spent time with my boyfriend, but how do I introduce them into seeing me showing affection towards him? </p> <p>The awkward living room scene was really because I was afraid that they would wake up and see me holding his hand, or (*gasp*!), even kissing him. My two youngest don't even remember me being part of a couple with their dad, and my oldest is my sweet naive boy who would be totally grossed out if he saw me kissing a man. They just don't know me as part of a couple.</p> <p>For the past three years that I've been single, I mourned the fact that my kids weren't going to grow up in a home where they were learning how a healthy, loving adult relationship works. Now that I'm in a healthy, loving relationship, how do I ease them into being able to witness it and accept it? </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=162#post-1354 Sun, 06 Sep 2009 03:21:25 +0000 SixofOne 1354@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I'm in this situation as the man. I do everything in my power to protect her daughter. I would never want to hurt the children. Adult time is so hard, and I've felt the high school living room feeling. Talk to HIM!!! Please!!! We aren't rocks, yes we may be men, but we do having feelings! You'd be surprised, and if he won't open up to you, move on. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=162#post-1345 Sat, 05 Sep 2009 12:44:17 +0000 mom23inmd 1345@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I felt like I was living at my parents' house!! Don't get me wrong, it was GREAT to see "P" without having to pay for a sitter. But my kids are 8, 5, and 4, and I was constantly worried that someone was going to walk in on us when we were being affectionate with each other. I'm not even talking about naked affection! I did tell my oldest that P was coming over after everyone was in bed, just in case my son heard voices and wondered what was going on downstairs. </p> <p>For those more experienced, how did you make that transition? My kids have met him, but always as a "friend" ... so it would freak them out to see me kissing him or holding hands or whatever. They've never met a man that I've dated, and my two youngest don't even remember that mommy and daddy used to sleep in the same room or even live together! </p> <p>Thanks for your wisdom! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=81#post-972 Sun, 19 Jul 2009 22:42:12 +0000 mommamaureen 972@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Thanks for the reassurance! Yes I'm really lucky to have great guy friends although I have noticed that my friendships with men have taken a nose dive since I had G. Also I will be able to explain away men that might happen to be in the house after bedtime because right now I live with my brother and he has friends over a lot so I can always just tell G they're his friends. I'd hate to lie but...sometimes it's better then the alternative. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=81#post-971 Sun, 19 Jul 2009 06:48:00 +0000 oliviasmom 971@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I don't think that's lame at all! </p> <p>Even if you're not ready to date, it's nice to have male companionship, it's comforting, isn't it?! Nice, normal men to spend time with, minus the pressure of dating.</p> <p>And I think having those close guy friends will make it easier to answer any questions your son may have as he gets older, if he should happen to wake up when you have actual dates over. It's not as taboo if he's used to mom having male friends. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=81#post-970 Sun, 19 Jul 2009 04:44:26 +0000 mommamaureen 970@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I've done some practice living room dates with just guy friends that I'm totally not romantically interested in since I've had G...though I don't tell them they're practice dates, I just get them to come over and hang out. I know it sounds lame but it helps me to do practice runs at things before even attempting to do the real thing. G is nowhere near sleeping through the night and his bedtime and wake times are still very unpredictable since I'm still nursing. I think I'm not ready to date yet, but I do enjoy the practice dates it's nice to have some adult conversation since I spend my whole day with G...he's got them beat on the cute scale but he's not the best conversationalist just yet. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=81#post-969 Sun, 19 Jul 2009 03:08:08 +0000 mssinglemama 969@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Olivia's Mom - you sure can, can't you? The toys tell all. Funny how some things are just universal. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=81#post-968 Sat, 18 Jul 2009 23:51:32 +0000 oliviasmom 968@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Living room dates are the best! I am pretty low-key, not really a 'get dressed up and go to dinner kind of girl,' so having wine and conversation at home is definitely up my alley.</p> <p>My last boyfriend was a gem. We had had a few regular dates, but for our first 'living room date', I didn't have to do any of the work, HE brought a bottle of wine, unprompted. And promptly at midnight, got up, kissed me goodnight, and left so I could go to bed. Like I said, a gem :)</p> <p>And Alaina, in your video you talked about leaving Benjamin's belongings out in the open and gauging the man's response to them. LOL, I totally do that too! You can tell A LOT by how a man reacts. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=81#post-903 Mon, 13 Jul 2009 20:56:34 +0000 arscuore 903@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>With the few guys I've dated, this was the norm. They didn't want me to have to be bearing the brunt of the costs of going out by paying babysitters all the time. We still went out on the weekends, but this was pretty common for a middle-of-the-week date. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=81#post-882 Mon, 13 Jul 2009 02:35:03 +0000 Tishia 882@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I've never done a living room date before. And honestly it's not even something I've ever considered. My son is 10 now so very rarely does he wake up at night but if he did and came out of his room to find a man there it would be awkward. He would definitely have some questions that's for sure. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=81#post-861 Sun, 12 Jul 2009 02:32:36 +0000 LucidInsanity 861@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>I am definitely up for a living room date. Now, I've just got to locate a man who isn't "sketchy". Lol. </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=81#post-853 Sat, 11 Jul 2009 15:15:12 +0000 Jami 853@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>This is interesting... It's not something I've done yet. I dated a man for three years -- half my son's life. We had living room dates all the time, but they weren't so much like this... It was more like, "Come over for dinner. I'll put the boy to bed and we can hang for a few." It operated more like a married couple than a planned living room date. </p> <p>Now that I'm single again, the boy is six and a half and I live with my best friend and her almost two year old son. The boys share a room, which is awesome, but my house is bitty! There is just no feasible way I think I could do this, given my current living situation, and shelter the boy from coming into the living room, stumbling upon a man that he will inevitably have questions about. </p> <p>I think if he was younger, this would be an absolute possibility... Sounds like fun! </p> http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/topic.php?id=81#post-820 Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:58:14 +0000 mssinglemama 820@http://www.mssinglemama.com/single-moms/ <p>Bringing back an oldie but goodie... here's an old video I made on how to have the perfect living room date. The idea being that you avoid the cost of a baby sitter. </p> <p><a href="http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/13/the-living-room-date/" rel="nofollow">http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/13/the-living-room-date/</a></p> <p>So... what are some compliments to this? Any ideas on how to make living room dates even better? Do you guys get nervous the kids will come downstairs? </p> <p>Also - do not have living room dates with sketchy men you don't trust (should go without saying but this is something readers brought up to this original post). Be careful. </p>