Single Moms Forum Topic: Single Military Mom

Yvonne on "Single Military Mom"

Yvonne — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 16:44:23 +0000

Oh, I understand now. I can actually relate. Only you can decide what's best for you and your daughter, but I can tell you about my situation. I also live in a city where I have no family and no friends. My ex lives 45 minutes away but other than picking up the kids on Sundays for several hours, he's never around. After two years, I started dating and I met a really nice guy. We went out for several weeks and I felt that it was time to bring him around my kids. I felt like I had to see him with my kids to figure out if I could be serious about him. Long story short, we started doing things with the kids on the weekends. I loved the thought of having a complete family again. The kids adored him and he really was great with them. The problem was that I realized I wasn't in love with him. I was in love with the idea of having a complete little family. I loved having someone there to help me with the kids, and loved being able to take a little break when he was around. Anyway, he started getting very needy and clingy. He wanted to talk about marriage and possibly having our own child. I struggled with the decision, but I ended the relationship after several months. I realized I had made a mistake in bringing him around my kids so soon. I should have waited until I was clear on how I felt about him. My kids ended up being fine. My almost 2 yr old is too young and does not ask about him and my five year old asked about him twice and has since stopped. I did consult with our play therapist and she really helped me handle the situation. So, the kids are okay, but my ex-boyfriend was heartbroken. He said he had fallen in love with the kids and that he really thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with us. I made the best decision for all of us though. There was a point when I thought I should just be happy that I found a good guy who was great with my kids and accepted us, but I want more. I want to be in love. So my advice would be to really think about it. Be honest and upfront with him and what you're looking for. The last thing you want is to end up in a relationship thats just based on convenience. We all deserve more than that.

ams727 on "Single Military Mom"

ams727 — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 02:43:30 +0000

No I would never leave her alone with him. I was saying I am in Virginia by myself with no family so I mean introducing him to her and him being around her alone with me because I have to no family around here to help me.

Yvonne on "Single Military Mom"

Yvonne — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:43:57 +0000

Do you mean leave your baby alone with him? How long have you known this guy? Are you dating him? Has he ever taken care of a baby? Your baby is young and you really do need to be careful who you bring around her.

val912 on "Single Military Mom"

val912 — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 13:55:56 +0000

Really that decision is up to you. This is my story after being with my ex for 4 1/2 years i finally had enought and kicked him out of my house. Watching him finally leave was a great relief for me, but he made it impossible for me to move on. He kept hounding me to reconsiliate but I wouldnt hear it, he would threaten to step out of our kids life if i would drop them off looking nice. He would bribe me with dinner dates just to give me money for our kids. I wanted to be nice and only ask for babysitting money ($50.00 a week) becuase i knew going to child support court he would be paying more. And i can financially support my children without his help, but i felt he should still be responsible financially in some way. After a year of being single he finally got the hint that we were not getting back together and i thought moved on and started dating. I was estactic no more hiding dates or relationships. And then i start dating his cousing baby daddy... When he found out he was very upset. I went to pick up my children from his moms house after winter break and she had told me he left with them 3 days before and she hasnt heard anything from him. I called the police but they were unable to help me. They stated that since we had no official court orders for visitations he had the same rights as I did and they couldn't do anything. Two days after i was served... He is suing me for full custody, saying I am a drug addict, abusive, and i abandoned our children at his mothers house. Its been 6 months since ive seen my kids. I married my boyfriend and he has been my rock through this ordeal. I have been harshly judged for what happened to me, my biggest critic has my mother. Going through what i have gone through has been a nightmare but i know that im gonna see my kids one day.

ams727 on "Single Military Mom"

ams727 — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 02:17:22 +0000

So... This is my story... I am in the military and I am stationed in Virginia and my family is in Pennsylvania. My daughter's father has lived with me for a year...my daughter is now almost 8 months old. He just packed up and moved back to Kansas. So...it is me, my daughter and...me and my daughter. I have no one to turn to for support the only friends I have here work completely opposite hours than me so I have no one during the week and even most weekends. I met a guy(well my friends boyfriends best friend...I know confusing) who already wants to meet my daughter and be involved and says he would do anything for her and I. How long do I wait when I have no one here, not even her dad that I can just be like "hey can you take the baby tonight so I can go do this." Because, realistically, I don't have that. It doesn't bother me I love my daughter and the fact that I spend every minute out of work with her, but when is the right time to bring him around? How am I supposed to let go of something I feel is a good thing for now. I am still in a state of shock that her father would even move 1200 miles away from his child....it truly baffles me.