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Single Moms Forum » New Single Moms

I am mama, here me meow

(3 posts)

  1. annabelaby
    Member

    hello, i wanted to post an introduction or something about myself. i just kind of stumbled across this, and it's nice to not feel so alone.

    i have been divorced for about 4 months now. although my relationship ended years ago.

    I have two children under 5 years old. Both just babies in my eyes.

    I was married to a great man, a great dad who, about one month after finding out I was pregnant with my second child, was in a bad snowboarding accident. He was medicated heavily with oxycontin, and quickly became addicted.

    One night he went out high, got drunk, blacked out, and came home and beat the shit out of me. I was 8 months pregnant at the time.

    I kicked him out of the house, pressed charges, and I'm finally mentally moving on.

    The hardest part of it all was that I felt like I was too educated for this to happen to me. Drug addiction and abuse doesn't happen in upper middle class communities. I have a PhD. I'm too book smart and too wealthy for this to happen.

    Reality can be so hard to swallow.

    I just began dating again. I met this great guy and we've been out on two dates. I have no idea how to do this. While he's been out in the dating trenches for years, I was all cuddled up in a meaningful relationship. I haven't been on a date in 14 years.

    I don't know the rules and I feel totally lost. When to call, how soon is too soon for sex, when can he meet the kids. These are the thoughts racing through my head right now. It's only been two dates, and I'm already thinking about how many months/years/decades until he is allowed to even lay eyes on my children. I'm so protective and so flipping scared of my kids becoming attached and then that person leaving.

    I'm also scared that at any moment a car accident or skiing accident could happen and oxycontin will creep its nasty face into my life all over again.

    so i guess i'm here for some pointers on how to do this, because i feel so lost and so alone.

    cheers

    Posted 3 years ago #

  2. mssinglemama
    Key Master

    First of all, I think drug addiction happens quite often in upper middle class families. To pain killers, for sure. I think given the story about your ex and your trouble dating that I could write a book of an answer to you... but fortunately I already wrote the book.

    I think you'll find it has a wealth of knowledge for you and many of the new single moms who read it come away feeling completely empowered and they also have a better sense of how to move forward.

    here's the link to my eBook page... I hope it helps:

    http://www.mssinglemama.com/ms-single-mama-uncensored

    Posted 3 years ago #

  3. CC
    Member

    I can completely relate to your comment "I'm too book smart and too wealthy for this to happen." I have a bachelor's degree and did very well in school and have done even better in the business world. Luckily, I have a great paying job and I am able to support myself and my children.

    I would have never thought that I would have to visit the local Women's Shelter to get advice on how to file legal documents against my husband to protect myself and my children. That stuff just doesn't happen to someone like me. As you said, "Reality can be so hard to swallow."

    I would just like to cheer you on because you are smart and you did something to make your life and your children's lives better.

    I can't give you any advice about dating. However, I wish you the best and you have to know that you are not alone!

    Posted 3 years ago #

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