Today I brought my son to a new "Mommy and Me" type class. He got too old for the baby class and is now in the wobbler class. I can't believe how fast my baby is growing up! That's not my point though. This is the first time I have been around other moms without a wedding ring on. I literally caught two of them checking out my naked finger! It didn't help that they had diamonds the size of boulders! I felt like some kind of freak because I was not a happily married, stay at home, cookie cutter type mom like the the rest of these women. Have any of you ever experienced people looking at you funny because you are obviously unmarried? If so, how do you deal with it?
Single Moms Forum » New Single Moms
Being around married moms?
(8 posts)-
Loloberry
MemberPosted 3 years ago # -
I've never been married so it's probably a bit different for me, but sometimes I feel really out of place when it's lots of couples with their kids and then me with my kid.
Don't forget you're only seeing the outside of these women with huge boulders on their fingers. I'm sure they're not all cookie cutter mums. Try not to let it worry you. They're just human after all and if they judge you because you're not married then they're not worth knowing.
Posted 3 years ago # -
Definitely. At first it bothered me a bit but then I learned to just ignore it or make some hilarious joke about how annoying husbands are. Ha.
Posted 3 years ago # -
sweetfire28
MemberI totally feel you on this one. I'm the only one of my close friends that is a single mom. That's 1 out of 8. It has been hard dealing with the child and husband conversations or when making visits. I just suck it up.
Also I'm a dance teacher of a mommy and me class. The parents are very interested in my son and I. When I first started the questions would come up about his father and I would say how it is!
It went something like this: Oh no, I'm a single mom. His dad's a Marine, we're not together but he's doing good. (All with a smile)
They get it and feel like crap for asking. You know some people are truly interested and others are just poking.Think: Our path is a little different and we're making it work.
Smile!
Posted 3 years ago # -
chatterbox37
MemberI am so glad I found this website/forum!
I am a single mum who works overseas for an organisation of 400 people and I am the ONLY single parent, let alone single mum.
I am the only one of my friends who is also a single mum and I live in a country where single motherhood is frowned down upon and people are very forward in asking where my husband is or my child's father is.
I am also one of the only working mum's in my workplace so its a doosey all round.
I know this is going to sounds pretentious and I can hear alot of 'well aren't you the lucky one' after I my next sentence but -- thank goodness I have a very good nanny. I have to go to alot of formal and informal functions and its tough arriving and leaving alone.
Noone to sit with over dinner or dance with at the more formal stuff, unless someone takes pity on me. I smile I laugh and I act with confidence so noone can see it. I don't quite fit into a social group -- married couples with kids tend to feel awkward around me and I don't fit into the single or just couple crew. I'm in between.....
The insecurity levels of some of the married women is incredible (kids or no kids) -- if I talk to a man I must be 'after them'. I've learnt to develop a tough skin and courage in walking into rooms with my head held high but boy sometimes its hard work. As I read in Ms Singlemama's blog -- I don't need a man but I would sure like one. One day.
I'm grateful for what I have and glad to be here.
Posted 2 years ago # -
momofmilo
MemberI realize this is a pretty old post but someone might stumble on it and like to read some more. the father of my son (now almost 2) and i broke up before i found out i was pregnant. i moved a town away to work to save up mat leave and when i was 6 months preggo i joined a prenatal class. out of about 12 expectant mothers i was the only one there alone. i had a couple friends come with me to a few classes but mostly went by myself, i was also easily 7-10 years younger than all the other ladies too. i didnt connect with any one in the class and ended up skipping most of them because i had found pretty much everything they talked about on the internet anyhow.
it felt awkward while i was there though. most of my friends with children are married, however one was a single mom when i met her. i just dont pay attention if someone is judging me. i have a man in my life. he may not speak very good, may be mostly interested in trucks, sand, and rocks and he may only come up to my knee but he makes my life so full of joy and happiness that i thank life every day for bringing him to me. i feel i am enough mom and dad for my son even though it is hard to keep up the energy sometimes.
some people may see it as taboo to be a single mom but they have no idea that all of that extra work we put in just gives us all of the extra rewards that come with it! when someone asks just be proud to say that your a single mom. what they need 2 people to pull off you are doing all by yourself!Posted 1 year ago # -
I can also relate to this. I was married for 5 years before getting a divorce and making that adjustment was very difficult. I had been one of those cookie cutter moms. I then ended up on the other side, feeling judged by other mothers for not having a wedding ring on my finger. I have moved on from that. Don't care what other people think about your situation. It is none of their business and it doesn't concern them. You happiness and your child's happiness is what counts. There are plenty of women in the same position as us, and you might just have to look a little harder to find one, but i promise, there are many many single mothers out there feeling the same way.
Posted 1 year ago # -
neenersmommy
MemberI know EXACTLY what you mean. The women at my church play group were particularly snobby. Sometimes I would put a cocktail ring on my wedding finger just to "fit in." I was embarrassed even though I shouldn't be. They always asked what my husband did for a living or where he was since he is never at church. I would tell them it didn't work out with the father and he isn't involved (which is true). I kept it short and to the point or changed subjects. If they apologize, I say we aren't missing out on much (he was abusive). Who is to judge when they don't know what we have been through?
Posted 8 months ago #
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