Where do i even begin? About 4 years ago i got involved with a man who i went to middle school/hugh school with. His family also knew mine! Anyways, we were in completely in love, we were inseparable and then we decided we wanted to try to have a baby. A few months later, i was pregnant! We were extremely happy and we were ready! We had the baby and 7/8 months after our daughter was born things got bad. I wasnt happy and i was doing everything on my own. I found out he was talkin to anothet woman and we broke up. We got bavk together and yet he was still speaking yo this other woman(whom worked third shift with him). So trust, insecurities, low self confidence arose! so we broke up, but i remained at the top of the moutain...nobody couldn't tell me anything. Then few months passed by, we got back together. We were doing well, although i still had my suspicions because he worked with her. Anyways, we were pregnant with our second baby. We tried and when i was 7 months pregnant, he has cheating on me; with the same woman! I was heartbroken and i didnt want to be with him....i couldnt be with him. Ever since then we were good on and off but never back together. But i def tried to make things work and be on good/positive terms for the sake of the girls and our family. My youngest is now a year and for 6/7 months consistently we were doing so good. We ere actually making progress and he stopped talking to the othet girl all togethet and then i noticed him on his phone more, smiling,and just being distant then i realized theres somone else. I confronted him and he said yes, i was so distraught....what could i possibly have done wrong this time? I thought i did everything right, i mean i was still by his side when he was still "friends" with the girl he cheated on me with. I got really angry last week because i went to his house to wake him up for his hearing and he was alrwady on the phone with his new friend. I was on the computer when he hung up and i saw a essage where he was bribing the girls cousin to wat h her son so he can chill with her. I grew angrier and i startex yelling and screaming at him and his response was"did i do soemthing wrong? Do i have a girlfriend?". My heart stopped, no i wasnt his girlfirend but he did make it seem like we were going to move forward. Anyways, he didnt like it so he charged at me and slammed me againt the door, it lead into a physical altercation (which he is wayyy bigger than me) so kept hurting me and i went after him. Evenutally, he left to the hospital for his anxiety attack because i supposedly killed him and i went to the hospital to check to see if i had a cacussion. Im so deeply hurt and distraught and confused and in pain, its been three days and ive stayed away from him and he hasnt called/text/emailed to apologize for puttin his hands on me. I just cant get over thi happened.this isnt supposed to happen to me, i tried to do everyhing right in life. This type of things dont happen. My heart races and i try to stay busy but im just not happy and i feel like im in so much pain. My heart feels so heavy and so achy and hes living his life while im raising the two girls on my own. Its so hard and its difficult and i really truly try my best but my heart cant take the pain and i cant enjoy myself at all!!!