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Single Moms Forum » New Single Moms

Advice Needed...Sticky Situation :)

(2 posts)
  1. nikkisc123
    Member

    Hello all :)

    I just joined this group and have loved the information on this site so far! I need a little advice of my own.

    My fiance and I have been together for 3 years. He was recently sent to jail and will not get out until September. He has had his 11 year old daughter since she was 4 months old (him and the child's mother never went to court to determine custody legally). His daughter is staying with me and my children until he gets out of jail and we reunite.

    Her mother has never helped financially, but he does allow her to see their daughter (as per her request) and spend the night two Saturdays per month due to her work schedule. She does not pay child support or help with any of my "step-daughter's" living expenses or even gas to take and pick her up from her mother's.

    Now, I recently had to apply for insurance (Medicaid) for my step-daughter, as I do not make enough to pay out of pocket for insurance. The state is wanting me to sign papers to take out a child support order on the mother. When I informed her mother that they were inquiring about child support, her response was make sure you tell them I give you something..doesn't matter how much, just something so I don't have to go to court.

    To me, this is totally unfair. I have been debating on this since he was locked up 2 weeks ago and do not know what I should do. I am just afraid that if I serve her with child support papers that she will take her out of my home and legally she has that right. Not saying I'm 100% sure as she has never truly been a mother and do not know why she would want to interfere with her partying lifestyle to try and pretend to be one now.

    I have had people tell me to keep my step-daughter from her mother until her father gets out of jail so that she does not try and remove her from the only home she has known for 3 years and others say to continue with visitation as normal and do not worry about the child support. I have a ten year old daughter and a four year old son from my previous marriage that I am responsible for as well. It is not fair to them to be deprived either.

    Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated :)

    Posted 1 year ago #
  2. Bilingual_Mama
    Member

    Far out, what a horrible situation. This whole mess would've been easily avoided by organizing everything legally from the beginning. I would say you need to deal with this legally and honestly. The truth is she hasn't paid a cent, and you need to file for child support, as well as custody of the girl. You're afraid the mother may take the girl? Highly doubtful, she's never done so in 11 years, and child support will be cheaper than actually raising her, so her threats are likely without merit.

    Go see a family lawyer.

    As an aside, why are you happy to stay with a criminal? If he's in there for a violent crime then perhaps you're ALL better off without him. Respect yourself

    Posted 10 months ago #

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