I know there are a lot of varied opinions on this subject, and I want to hear all of them (and your reasoning) from all of you.
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost 5 months. We are both in our 40s, both have kids, and are both committed to our relationship (we were very upfront about that from the beginning). My ex lives 750 miles away and only visits my kids 1 weekend a month for one night, so I don't have a lot of kid-free time. His kids live with their mom, but they are at his house almost every weekend, so between the two of us, we have a lot of parenting time.
Still, we've managed to carve out time for each other, but it typically involves my kids. My kids ADORE him, and he does more "father" things with my kids than there dad does .. taught my son to throw a football, attends my girls' ballet recitals, takes them for hay rides, sledding, etc. My kids ask me constantly to ask him to come over. So, that relationship is solid.
I've never crossed that line of having him stay over, however. We are not engaged or married, and I always thought I would wait until that happened. But things feel right between us, and now I'm wondering if it would be no big deal to the kids to have him stay.
So I want your opinions: when/if I should have him stay, and if yes, how should I talk to the kids about it? There ages are 8, 5, and 4. The 5 and 4 year olds don't even remember the time when their dad used to live with us. My 8 year old does, but there is absolutely no conflict in his mind between his dad and my BF ... I think because his dad is so distant, and because I waited 3 years after the divorce to bring anyone into the kids' lives.