I don't know how to explain exactly how I'm feeling today. I got pregnant at 19 with a boyfriend I'd been with 4 years. We stayed together until our daughter was a little less than 3. We broke up for numerous reasons, I am now dating someone and have been for about a year and a half.
I am a teacher at a high school now. And I just am inundated with wedding talk or engagement talk every day from coworkers. Four are getting married within months of each other this year. Sometimes just hanging around my coworkers feels like a constant reminder of how I did it wrong, how I'm not married, how nobody is proposing to me. I hate feeling this self centered. This thought process isn't even productive. I'm only hurting myself. Yet it eats at me.
I guess I felt like I had a lot to offer. And, forgive me, I know we are all in different lives, and I don't intend on offending anybody with my low self esteem, but I believe I have less of a chance of finding somebody who will marry me now because I have a child. It's just so much responsibility. And what man is willing to undertake that responsibility for a child that is not even his?
Don't misunderstand me. I am dating someone. He's wonderful to my daughter and me. I think we have a great relationship. But even I know that he'd have already wanted to marry me if I had not been a single mother. I get depressed thinking about it.
I just want any kind of uplifting story if any of you have one. Or any kind of coping mechanism that you use, or a positive train of thought. I am drowning out here.