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Single Moms Forum » Seasoned Single Moms

Too young

(6 posts)
  1. MsAmandaSingleMom
    Member

    I don't know how to explain exactly how I'm feeling today. I got pregnant at 19 with a boyfriend I'd been with 4 years. We stayed together until our daughter was a little less than 3. We broke up for numerous reasons, I am now dating someone and have been for about a year and a half.

    I am a teacher at a high school now. And I just am inundated with wedding talk or engagement talk every day from coworkers. Four are getting married within months of each other this year. Sometimes just hanging around my coworkers feels like a constant reminder of how I did it wrong, how I'm not married, how nobody is proposing to me. I hate feeling this self centered. This thought process isn't even productive. I'm only hurting myself. Yet it eats at me.

    I guess I felt like I had a lot to offer. And, forgive me, I know we are all in different lives, and I don't intend on offending anybody with my low self esteem, but I believe I have less of a chance of finding somebody who will marry me now because I have a child. It's just so much responsibility. And what man is willing to undertake that responsibility for a child that is not even his?

    Don't misunderstand me. I am dating someone. He's wonderful to my daughter and me. I think we have a great relationship. But even I know that he'd have already wanted to marry me if I had not been a single mother. I get depressed thinking about it.

    I just want any kind of uplifting story if any of you have one. Or any kind of coping mechanism that you use, or a positive train of thought. I am drowning out here.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  2. boardermom
    Member

    Oh honey. I don't know what to say, except I know how you feel. I'm also dating a really nice guy who's good to my little one. However, we've been dating for a year now and the L word hasn't been muttered. I kind of feel the same way, like it would have happened by now if I were a single lady with less responsibility.

    I haven't really figured out a coping mechanism. But I hope there's a happy ending :)

    Posted 3 years ago #
  3. Hey, I have to say, chin up! I too had a child @ 19. I did marry the guy, but he left when my daughter was only 3 months old. I went on to meet a wonderful man who adopted my daughter. The good guys are out there, you just have to keep you eyes open.
    Maybe the guy you are dating is waiting until you seem ready? I feel that people should be totally open when kids are involved. It may spook him, but why not just say, "hey, where do you see this going?" If you have been together for a year and a half, what are you waiting for? If he's not looking to marry you, perhaps you should move on, if getting married is what is important to you. Find the man who wants to help parent your child. They are out there! Blessings, Megan

    Posted 3 years ago #
  4. Always take suitable precaution not to get pregnant with your present partner without marriage because it can make your life even difficult. as you feel your present partner is very co-operative try to convince him for feeling no hesitation in bringing up your first daughter.
    you should not feel distressed mentally because your case of being a single mom is not unique.
    there are many children who have a loving step mom or dad.
    you can also get a partner easily.
    there are many celebs who have adopted children being single.
    like Madonna and former Miss universe Sushmita Sen.

    child custody modification

    Posted 3 years ago #
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    Posted 1 year ago #
  6. Sherly
    Member

    Being a young mother is hard, I know because I have been one. Thats my worst fear now with my daughter, I don't want her to experience what I have experienced. The hardship and the struggle of raising a child alone. And as a result, I always tell my daughter about the risks of being active. Like the the diseased she might get and the possibility of being pregnant and the complications of giving birth at a young age.

    Posted 1 year ago #

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