-

Single Moms Forum » New Single Moms

Single Pregnancy

(6 posts)

  1. brandikinz
    Member

    I'm glad I found this forum. I'm 25 and recently single. I was seeing this man for a short while and one night we decided it wasn't working and ended it. A week later(this past monday) I find out I'm pregnant. Now I'm not sure of what to do. I don't want him to think I am trying to get him back. That isn't the case. I am torn between letting him know now and waiting a few weeks. I guess I just want an outside perspective. Will waiting a few weeks have a negative impact or will it not matter at all? I know that I will need his medical history as soon as possible because I am keeping this child. Other than that, I'm still working on a plan.

    Posted 3 years ago #

  2. LilmansMama
    Member

    I like this forum too! It's nice to hear other peoples insight when it comes to being single and raising our little ones. Depending on the reasons why you called it off I would wait a few weeks to tell him, letting things cool off a bit or just be. Telling any man your news is going to have an impact any time and it's your right to take some time to have a solid plan for you and your baby. Hope that helps a little!

    Posted 3 years ago #

  3. MommaTurtle
    Member

    This sounds just like my story. Only, I had broken it off with "him" 2 days before I found out I was pregnant. I let him know immediately. I was filled with a lot of false hope that he would stick around and be a good father. However, after trying to work it out with him for a few months I told him we could not be in a relationship together but we could be civil with each other for the sake of our son. LONG story short, I have been a single mother for three years now and "he" has never seen my son. He wanted nothing to do with him and the 1st time I even heard from him was when my son was 7 weeks old. (Even with my son being a preemie and staying in the NICU for a month) When he called it was quickly apparent that all he wanted was to know if I was taking him to court for child support (the same child support he had only months ealier claimed "noone would have to make {him} pay; {he}'s a man and will take care of {his} son") In this same phone conversation he "decided" he wanted to sign his rights away because "he may have my blood but he ain't my son"... I hope and pray the end to your story is different but I can tell you my son and I are just fine!! I may struggle to make ends meet but I am a homeowner now and my baby boy is healthy, happy, and very loved!! Good luck and know that whether he gets excited or outraged you and your baby will be fine!!

    A little p.s. for ya- my son's father turned out to be an alcoholic who was 'never too drunk to drive' which is why I broke it off with him the first time. I do not regret letting him sign his rights away for one single minute... sure an extra $600 bucks or so a month would definitely help but there is no price tag on the life of my son!

    Posted 3 years ago #

  4. AMG0726
    Member

    You couldn't have said it better MommaTurtle, my story is very similar, I was left alone pregnant at 3 months, it didnt matter that I told him, once the relationship doesn't work a baby doesnt mean it will make it work. I think you should share this with him,if he decides to be part of your baby's life great as long as you can keep it civilized, if not then dont bother. No amount of money from child support is worth your childs safety.

    Posted 3 years ago #

  5. katya551
    Member

    I can't comment on when the best time to tell is. My thought would be, whenever you have a solid plan on what you are going to do regardless of his reaction.

    But I wanted to highlight the issue of support mentioned by a couple of people. In my experience, just because a father gives up custody/ rights/ visitation, it has no bearing on the support legally. Waiving the rights does not waive the obligation. Just like a mother can never sign an agreement that she will not go after support, or waive it. Such agreement would be found not valid in court. Maybe it varies state by state, but this is what I was told by several attorneys (I am in Ohio). At least its worth checking out, extra money would be useful for any kid, and the "daddy" does not get any right just because they are paying.

    Posted 3 years ago #

  6. MommaTurtle
    Member

    I'm in Louisiana and my lawyer told me if I let him sign his rights away I was also letting him sign his obligations away. The way it was done means my son legally has no father... At least that's the way it was explained to me... But, you are right, it varies state-to-state because in some states (I have been told Texas is one of them) the father can't sign his rights away at all even if both parents agree.

    Posted 3 years ago #

RSS feed for this topic

Reply

You must log in to post.