Hi everyone :)
My name is Jade and I am a young, single Mommy of a 1 and a half year old boy and I am also newly pregnant.
I'm sure all of you women have been through a rough time - being single parents can be really hard, and I have found that out for sure :( but... I'm glad to be here! I would love someone to chat with; the situation I am in is not the happiest of situations - but I will try my best to describe it. Sorry everyone if this is super long!!! :( Thank you in advance for reading too. xoxoxo
Okay, well... my 1 & a half year old son's father was verbally & mentally abusive. Him and I are both in our early 20's - but he is still thinking like he is living as a teenager. He was never motivated to do much with his life and was/is still a very depressed person. He ended up cheating on me and left me for the girl he cheated with. That being said, I felt terrible... my son was only about 5 months old and I was so confused/sad. My son kept me going, but at the end of the day I just felt so defeated.
After about 3-4 months of being a single Mommy, I ended up meeting the love of my life (who I ended up losing, I will write about that as I continue). He was 6 years older than me, and from the moment we met - we hit it off so well. He wanted all the same things in life as me and was honestly the sweetest soul I'd ever known. He loved the fact that I had a little boy already - it didn't bother him at all. So, after about 5 months of dating, we decided we wanted to move in together. The only thing was - his work was in a different province and it would mean I would have to move pretty far away with my son to be with him. I thought about it a lot, but I truly wanted love and moved out to be with him. When my son and I arrived, everything was great for the first month! The man I was with treated both my little guy and I so well, and we enjoyed every second we shared together.
Here's where things started to fall apart... about a month after I moved in with him, his job fell through (he was working in the accounting department for a movie production - the movie was scrapped so therefore he had no more work). We then started to have major financial problems - we could barely pay our rent/bills and keep up with buying food. I feel that from those stresses, it lead us to have arguments that were not needed. :( Finally, we were no longer able to pay our rent due to lack of money - and we had no choice but to move into his Mother's place. She was not living there (in the process of moving) and she had her place's rent paid off for a few months, which would have been long enough for us to try and manage to save as much money as possible to move back to the province I came from (those were our plans, and the man I was with was perfectly fine with them to what I had known). So, we stayed there for a while... he still showed me plenty of affection, love and care. I never thought that he was not sincere about his love for me. He ended up finally finding work in demolition/construction which paid well, and things were starting to look up for us. We were able to save up a little for our move back to my province where we were to start our life together as a family... and because things were looking up, we decided to start our family. We ended up pregnant, and he was so excited. His family was too, and everything was wonderful. Then about 3 or 4 days after we found out we were expecting, I found out that he had been flirting with a girl online from the States, and when that happened, he came to me out of the blue and told me that he a) was not happy anymore and b) didn't have love for me in his heart anymore. I was HEARTBROKEN and crushed severely... I had moved mine and my son's whole life out to be with him, and he was telling me this! :(
Now, this may sound a little pathetic on his part, but its the truth. I feel (as well as my fam/friends and his fam/friends) that he decided to end things because he was overwhelmed with his life. Our relationship was only 8 months long and was very rushed, I know. He had also been living with his Mother before I met him and hadn't ever really had to worry about responsibility (she took care of him... perhaps it wasn't the best thing to do for your 26 year old son but, oh well, she did). He went from zero responsibility to TONS, right in his face. His Mother kept telling me that he just needed time, that he would "come around soon", but now one of his friends says that he says he is happy now. I am so hurt by everything that has happened and now I am left alone, with a toddler and a baby on the way. My now ex says that when the baby is born, he will move to my province to be closer to the baby... but I don't know what will happen.
I feel so distraught, everyone I know tells me not to worry and that I deserve better, but I do feel that this was the love of my life and I cannot let go of that. I would love to hear what you ladies have to say about this situation, and what I should do/what will help me get through it all. Should I keep hope that he will come back to me? Or should I just move on completely and forget about things...
Sigh. Anyway, that is it! Sorry it was so long :( But thank you so much for reading. I would greatly appreciate some feedback whenever possible.
Lots of love!! :)
- Jade xoxoxoxoxoxo