Where do I begin?? I met my ex fiance in college. We got engaged, moved in together got pregnant. He was physically abusive to me all five years. Christmas morning 2009 he got arrested. he beat me in front of our then 3 yr old daughter. he was allowed monitored visits for a couple of months. Then he got bumped up to one 2 hr visit unsupervised a week and every other sunday daylight visit IF he showed consistency. He stood her up countless times and i still agreed to reschedule visits. well he got served with child support and everything has gone down the drain since. I have had such a hard time financially. To the point where I have sold all my jewelry to provide for her. It kills me to hear ,y daughter ask if we have food for her to eat. he filed for joint custody to not pay child support. He has had his new girl friend call and threaten me. Mind you all of the time he has threaten to beat me or even shoot me I never called the cops. I think deep down I hoped he’d change so our little family can be together again. I’ve prayed and prayed. I guess my prayers were answered. But he has a new family instead. His new girlfriend has a daughter as well. Anywho, so now communication between us is made by a third person. He still shows up late and has even gone weeks without requesting to see our daughter. He has told our daughter that she has a new mommy and even a baby sister and that soon she’ll have her own room at their new home. I spoke to him this past Sunday about custody since our appt at court is this following Monday. He sweet talked me, said he loved me and im sorry to say, a little part of me was thrilled. Had he really changed? for me?? Thank you Baby Jesus!! Well no. When I went to pick our daughter up at his family’s house out came his girlfriend holding my daughter. It came time for us to leave and I told her “lets go” his girlfriend asked if she wanted to stay there with them or go home with me. My daughter preferred to stay there. My heart ripped out of my chest. (all this while his mother whom never liked me taunted me and said “see you must not be a good mother if she doesn’t want to go home with you”) What are they telling her?? ahhhh I feel so alone, betrayed. Humiliated, embarrassed. The only thing I can say I am okay with is that I kept calm. I kept it mature. I understand eventually he'll get joint custody but i am not comfortable with it right now. he is doing it for all the wronf wrong reasons. he was never around for any of her surgeries. (docs suspect cancer) And im not too sure i like all the things he is telling her. What are the chances of his getting joint custody? I feel like I’m going crazy. I feel so alone. Please anything you can advise me with is greatly appreciated..
Ex filed for joint custody to avoid child support(3 posts)
From a male point of view, I think his behaviour is absolutely disgusting, 99.9% of men would never ever treat you and your daughter like this. My advice would be to keep a diary of any inconsistencies in visitation, any further threats of any kind should be logged with the police immediately.
As for the joint custody, his failure to pay any child support will go heavily against him. I wish you all the luck in the world.
Wow. Just like the person prior to me said keep a diary of every threatening phone call, message, conversation coming from him or anyone else who lives at the house where he resides(like the girlfriend). My heart breaks for you. Good luck. I hope all works out in your favor. Please keep us up to date w your situation.
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