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Single Moms Forum » Dating Single Moms

what's wrong with me

(2 posts)
  1. momof1
    Member

    HI ladies..new member here!

    Okay I'll try to keep this short...I'm 41, single mom to a 2 1/2 yr old son and have my life in order. I've been single for about 1 1/2 yrs - happily. I did date a little last fall but never met anyone I clicked with. I gave up on internet dating, but started again in June. Went on a few dates that lead to nothing again and right as I was about to sign off for a bit I met this guy "John."

    "John" has his life in order, mid 40's, divorced for a few yrs, has a child, since his divorce he bought a house and a nice car, has had same job for 21 yrs...bottom line dependable, fun, easy going, respectful, makes me laugh and feel good. It's been about 3 weeks. We talk easily and openly, etc.

    Here is what I don't get is wrong with ME! I've always had the guy in my life who didn't have it together, needed my "help", needed me to do stuff for him etc. On one hand I acknowledge that my personality likes this but on another it would annoy me cause I viewed the guy as weak, needy, etc. Why now that I met a guy who has it all am I not happy or feeling it? We don't spend lots of time together - maybe 2 evenings a week (no overnights) and a weekend day (usually Sunday) - we space out our time based on our availability with our kids etc. It's not over kill. We talk daily. I've always been very independant.

    I'm having such trouble with this - I almost feel like I enjoy being single but when single want a guy around. I am taking it day by day....there's not a huge electric spark but I do like him. I deserve to have a nice man in my life and don't want to regret it later that I just blew this chance. So confused on what to do or why do I actually feel this way!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  2. AK-10
    Member

    It sounds like you like to feel needed. Perhaps the old relationships that you were in made you feel in control or the Alpha in the relationship. This relationship you are in now sounds like you are equals and on the same page with regards to where you are headed in life. If this guy is in his 40's he is also beyond the drama stage and is craving an emotionally stable girlfriend.

    This guy your with sounds good on paper. So find ways to take charge on the occasion. Seduce him, set the tone, plan the date, pay, plan a hike or bike ride. Point is you should plan something you find exciting to do to spice things up and invite him along. If you still feel blah towards him. Then it sounds like it should just be your friend and not your lover.

    Posted 1 year ago #

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