I am a single mom to a four year old girl. Her dad wasn't around when she was born, and always gives me mixed feelings whether he actually wants to be in her life. When he does make an attempt to be in her life, I shut him down. I know I let what happened between us interfere with that decision. I don't trust him, and have good reason to. He smokes pot, and when one day made a surprise early-pick up, (he had our daughter), I found cocaine. He wasn't THAT person when we met. He was my first everything, and the father of my child. He hurt me. Emotionally. I don't want him to hurt her. He's careless, and thinks he can do no wrong. It's almost been a year now since he last seen her. He has not called, and when I finally checked a day a go, his phone is disconnected. There's always facebook, but he's made no attempt. Could it be due to how difficult I was being? I'm just venting, I am the only single parent in my family, and to be honest, it's destroying me. I put up a really strong front, but on the inside, I am constantly screaming. I love my daughter so much, but I feel like I have failed her. I take her on trips, (museums, beaches, etc.), and buy her anything. But when she sees her cousin running to her father, I could see it in my four year olds face, she's questioning something. As for now, she has not asked me anything, but I am sincerely dreading the day she does. I feel as if she's going to hate me. Her father did leave us, but what if I didn't give him a real chance to be a father? I don't know what to do. And my family hates him for what he did, but in all honesty they don't know the real story. I'm at a loss, but I feel a little better for venting. I spoke to 3 friends and asked them for advice. My best friend said, I shouldn't even bother with him. But my other friend, said, I should contact him. Tell him that she is starting to wonder who her father is, and to make sure he knows that he is either in or out. If someone does read this blog, I would appreciate any insight.
DAD?: YES OR NO(2 posts)
I know the feeling. First off, if your x is around drugs you definitely do not need that around your daughter. My sons father was in and out all the time at the beginning but finally just stopped all communication and he told me that I took his son away. I was always the one to initiate communication and he never did it on his own. I know it hurts but your daughter deserves better than him. How old is he? Sometimes it's a maturity thing and other times it's just that they don't want to be parents or have responsibility. If you have to initiate contact everytime it is really not worth it. He needs to want to be a father and if he doesnt then there isnt much you can do. But i highly reccomend that if he does want to be in her life then surpervise the visits and do not let him take her because if drugs are found in his car and he happens to get pulled over you do not want social services involved or any other crazy mess.
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